It's been a while since I wrote anything here.  Not like other times, when I went for months without making new entries, but still... what is the purpose in having a blog without writing in it, eh?

So, as I have nothing better to do, I'll just start typing and see how far I can get.

Right. So, last time, I addressed The Sims 3 being a capitalist monolith. Well, you know how Google will search an HTML document for a word or phrase, then display an advert or three in the margins that have to do with the word or phrase it chose? In an interesting bit of irony, Google found that post and is displaying links to the EA Sims 3 for consoles site. Funny how that worked out, i'n'it? A corporate disestablishmentarian ranting post attracting official links to the very game I ranted about!

Next, I've become rather good at drawing Okudagrams. LCARS displays. Star Trek: The Next Generation? Still no idea? Here's an example, then...

That is an okudagram I made for an SKP (Google SketchUp document) of a TNG PADD. Now, I'm sure that some Trek anorak is going to find fault with something in that display, but, I don't really care. If the only thing you have to do all day is troll obscure blogs looking for problems in fan-created Star Trek material, you probably don't have a job or a girlfriend and you live in your parents' basement.
Yes, well, anyway... that took a nasty turn, didn't it. The point is, that I've gotten rather good at drawing those, both in CGI and on paper. It's even better in CGI, really, 'cos I recently managed to track down the LCARS font. Amazing thing, the search engine. Typing "star trek font" into Google can send one to the most interesting places.

Next: there are finally clouds in the sky! For nearly two weeks, here in Lancaster County, we've had naught but cloudless blue skies for as far as sincerity goes in a pumpkin patch: as far as the eye can see.  I'm probably a freak of nature in this manner, but I find clear skies with lots of sunshine to be terribly uninspiring. To me, sunshine means sunburn, heat, UV rays, summer-time, spiders, big bugs, sweating, and wasting money on air-conditioning.  When the clouds come in, though -- particularly cirrostratus and cumulonimbus -- there's no better source of inspiration. Autumn and winter are my two favourite seasons... cor, I've even done piano improvs with "autumn" and "winter" in the title ("An Autumn State of Mind" from the self-titled album and "Early Winter" from Utopia). I'm something of a cloud enthusiast -- not only as their being a harbinger of cooler temperatures, but also just as things to look at. I have a rather extensive collection of cloud photographs on my mobile phone and my DSi, ranging from whispy cirrus to tornadic cumulonimbus.

Finally, today's nifty word is, "basalt".
Look it up, why don't you?

Posted by theniftyperson at 10:55 AM CDT

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Many's the time when I used to come here and post some thousand-word complaint about Electronic Arts' The Sims division... it became commonplace, in fact.
For a while, I thought I'd covered all the main points about The Sims 3 -- uncustomisable community lots, substandardly-textured objects, insufficient quantity of hairstyles, no piano, blah-blah-blah. But, it seems as though a new issue has arisen since my last "Sims 3 is worthless" post. In fact, it's an issue which I never thought in my ten years as a Sim geek would ever become a problem...

Corporate takeover.

It would appear to me that Electronic Arts has totally taken over The Sims franchise, transforming it from Will Wright's long-time project for a people simulator into a corporate monolith. A monument, if you will, to high profits by selling a fundamentally substandard product to unsuspecting consumers, who are lured in by shiny new graphics and the names of iconic bands.

That's really what I wanted to address here: the music issue.
Back in the early days of The Sims Classic, no one at EA was particularly certain that this new game, which primarily was about house-building, was going to be any good. So, Jerry Martin, Robi Kauker, Kent Jolly, and Michael Cormier were the game's entire music team. In-game songs were written entirely by them and performed at one of EA's studios. The singers who performed the stereo songs were not well-known -- downright obscure, in fact. Just people who were looking for work in California.
So, a few months later, the game is released and, hey presto, it's a million-seller!

The Sims 2 -- it started out innocuously enough. Just a ragtag group of TV and cinema composers, headed by the Mothersbaugh brothers, late of Devo. Then, about halfway through the series, good old Rod Humble comes onboard and insists they start using local bands. Y'know, people who were not yet household names whose posters could be found on bulletin boards and lampposts all over L.A.  So, The Sims 2 turns out to be a great success, too!

The Sims 3 -- in this case, we start out with the original score taking a backseat to the bands who make the "music" (feh -- anti-music is more like it) for the stereo. Let me repeat that...

The stereo! A single object in the Electronics sort of the Buy Mode catalogue. One which most people aren't going to get for their Sims.
This single object has works from the likes of Nelly Furtado, Leanne Rimes, and Lady Antebellum. Now, as I don't typically listen to anything composed after 1899, unless it was written by Jerry Goldsmith, John Williams, Koji Kondo, or Jerry Martin, I don't claim to have a great deal of knowledge on this point... but, you've got to figure that, if even I've heard of them, they must be famous enough to demand a six-figure paycheque.
If the price of the stereo object in The Sims 3 accurately reflected the amount of money spent to have the music made for it, Malcolm Landgraab, himself, wouldn't be able to afford it! A cheater would have to type "motherlode + Enter" so much, the keys involved would stop working! An honest player would have to play the game nonstop for 700 years to have their Sims earn enough!

Of course, one cannot forget Steve Jablonsky's contribution to The Sims 3... or can one? Let's face it -- he'll never be Jerry Martin. His original score for this game seems to have been engineered for total ignorance. It's just a cacophony you have to get through in order to hear the stereo stuff.
Speaking strictly as a composer, Jablonsky's Sims 3 BGM is half-remixes of Mutato Muzika's Sims 2 score, half-Desperate Housewives. It's easily the weakest OST in franchise history.

An extrapolation. Assuming Sims division remain on their present course, the fourth Sims installment will have no original score at all, relying completely on jam-bands and pop groups for the background noise.
And, you know what? That's fine with me. The Sims 3 isn't nifty. I'd go so far as to say that it's right on the borderline between "not nifty" and "complete rubbish".  I used to fantasise about what kind of OST I'd write for The Sims series. Hell, I've got an entire flashdrive full of Sims-inspired piano improvs!
Now, though... I wouldn't compose for The Sims if a hot girl with a suitcase full of money begged me to.

The Sims is a corporate sell-out. One wonders how Will Wright feels about it. I mean, it must be gratifying to see one's own idea become a multi-million-dollar franchise... but, at the same time, to see the company responsible for it taking the shortest path to money, even if it means squashing game quality like an insect in the process.

Posted by theniftyperson at 1:31 AM CDT

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You remember TMRB, right? Once a candidate for the website's title, The Mind's Rubbish Bin has been condensed into a single page on Spiny McSpleen's Nifty Website...

...at least, until now!

TMRB has spent the last several months (nigh on a year, actually) being expanded to include many different fields of study. Thus far, I've found trivial stuff regarding Star Trek, Super Mario, and of course, general miscellanea. It's not ready for publishing just yet, but here's an idea of what will be found therein...

Miscellaneous
Every possible move in the game of Chess has a name.

A traditional doorbell sound is comprised of the first two notes of the Westminster Quarters (in music theory, a major third).

The Chinese translation of the former KFC slogan, "Finger-Lickin' Good" approximates to "eat your fingers off".

Snow has been falling on planet Earth for millions of years. During that time, no two snowflakes have ever been identical to one another.

Super Mario
The arcade version of Mario Bros. is the only build in which Koopas leave their shells. In all other versions, they simply wobble on their backs for a bit before repositioning and becoming hazardous again. In the Game Boy Advance version (built into the Super Mario Advance series), Koopas were replaced with Spinies.

Luigi did not appear in any games during the year 1994. He also did not appear in any original platformers for the Game Boy (his only side-scroller appearance being Super Mario Bros. Deluxe for Game Boy Colour). Mario, on the other hand has appeared in no fewer than two games per year since his introduction in 1981.

The 1993 Japan-only release, Mario & Wario, contains no Japanese text. All game text is in English.

Luigi did not appear in any original first-party platformers during the fifth generation. (Nintendo 64, Game Boy Colour).

There have been more Mario games released with Charles Martinet as the voice of Mario than there have been without.

Star Trek
The USS Enterprise-D has made more onscreen appearances than any other Starfleet ship. It appears in every episode of The Next Generation, one episode of Deep Space Nine, one episode of Enterprise, and the film Star Trek: Generations: 181 appearances in total.

The franchise's tag-line, "...To boldly go where no one has gone before," contains a split-infinitive. The proper way to phrase it would be, "...To go boldly where no one has gone before".

Two characters from as many Trek programmes have been named after Gene Roddenberry in some way. In The Next Generation, Wesley Crusher derives his first name from Roddenberry's middle name. In Voyager, Thomas Eugene Paris derives his middle name from Roddenberry's first name.

Vasquez Rocks, a park near Agua Dulce, California, has been used to portray alien planets on every Trek series but Deep Space Nine. Its first appearance was in the original Star Trek's episode, "Arena", where it served as the stage for Kirk's fight with the Gorn. It most recently appeared in Star Trek 2009 to portray Vulcan (creating continuity with Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, where it was used for the same purpose).

The End... for now.

I was quite surprised to find just how much minutiae exists in the Star Trek franchise. I suppose with all those Trek anoraks out there, who could argue the meaning of "petaQ" with Gowron, himself, it's to be expected. Of course, TMRB isn't a dumping-ground for uninteresting bits of OCD crap -- anachronisms, continuity and character errors, inconsistencies. Y'know, stuff that only an ub3r633k who shows up to film premiers in costume could find redeeming.

There's quite a lot of Mario trivia as well. Needless to say, what's listed up there isn't even the half of what I've found on any of those subjects. It's more like half of a fraction of a decimal. Invalid! Does not compute! Boom! There goes R2D2.
Oh yes, almost forgot -- I'm currently working on the Star Wars TMRB and Zelda TMRB, also.

Give it, perhaps, five more months -- then, I'll be finished. Or not. Who knows, really?

Posted by theniftyperson at 9:16 AM CDT

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You know Those, right? Your mama said there'd be days like This. Everyone has had one of Those days -- the day where, for all your charm, wit, and hand-eye co-ordination, everything seems to go wrong. You spill your coffee, you put two different shoes on, you knock your head on the car-door, you burn your lunch, your reformat your flashdrive and discover that you accidentally deleted the 3rd-quarter analysis spreadsheets with it. You know, Those days.
Well, I'm having one of Those weeks.

Though not strictly this week, Friday last, I encountered the largest spider on the face of the planet, which set me up for several days'-worth of arachnophobia. Every night since, I've had nightmares involving unnaturally-gigantic spiders. Just last night, I dreamt I found a particularly dense spiderweb, similar to what a funnel-web spider would make, only it was inhabited by a wolf-spider the approximate size of both my hands.

Then, on Sunday (the official start of the week in the SMTWTFS format), I go to a coffee-shop and encounter a ghost from my past. I shan't discuss it in great detail, but, suffice it to say, I would have preferred arachnophobia at that very moment.

However, I can safely say that today, Wednesday, the 22nd of September, has been the worst day of the week thus far. First, after I woke up this morning, I was only half-conscious when I went to make a pot of coffee. I ended up dumping a quarter of a cup of coffee-grounds into the reservoir instead of the basket. The reservoir, still being wet from the cup of tea I made at midnight, was frightfully difficult to clean.
An hour ago, or thereabouts, I went to the petrol station, as my car was dangerously low on the explosive propulsion liquid. I put my credit card into the thing there and it didn't take. I tried it again, no luck. I went into the convenience store to see if they could programme in 20 quid of petrol onto the card. They said it was being declined in every case.  Turns out I was sent a bill through the ever-so-reliable United States Postal Service by the credit card firm, which, of course, I never received. At any rate, I dusted off my backup card and used it to buy petrol. An activity that should have taken four to seven minutes to complete took twenty-eight minutes.
I was actually on my way to Thé Cup (a bistro with a piano in it, about which I have written in a past entry, like July-ish). I had intended to do a modicum of composing there whilst partaking in Earl Grey tea and a scone. Quite an inspiring place, really, Thé Cup -- their piano leaves a bit to be desired, but its post-industrial, hole-in-the-wall type environment is a jolly good place for new age composers to ply our trade...
...assuming one can get there...
I drive away from the petrol station and proceed to 48th Street, thence to Randolph. I turn north on 27th to approach the place at the only angle for parking. When I endeavour to shift lanes, I discover that a sodding great red pick-up truck, emblazoned with Nebraska Cornhusker football decals, has materialised out of thin air -- as though the Starship Enterprise, itself, has beamed this vehicle onto the road. I manage to avert certain disaster by speeding up enough to overtake (something which a nearby policeman looked twice at). Eventually, I find the second-to-last road to take me to Thé Cup -- I'm still trying to convince myself that I'll probably never encounter that same truck again (people who drive such large vehicles around here tend to have inferiority complexes and memberships in the National Rifle Association), I manage to miss the last road. I end up in the turning lane of a one-way street, with no hope of being able to double back on the route for several miles.
When I finally get back home (a task of great difficulty for all the road work going on around here), one of my crackhead neighbours attempts to run me down (either accidentally or intentionally) as I exit my car.

But, fear not, as This week is still young yet. I'm sure that something will happen between tomorrow and 2359 CST Saturday that will make today look an absolute picnic. A picnic in tall grass full of huge spiders, but a picnic nonetheless.

Posted by theniftyperson at 4:23 PM CDT

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Since I don't have a Facebook account anymore, I have to go back to posting my random crap here on Of Carbon and Silicon, like the old days.

First, I was out for a stroll in the park this morning and I came across what could be described as the largest spider on the face of the planet. Now, for those who don't know, I have a just a touch of arachnophobia... all right, make that major arachnophobia. There are places I won't go if I think there are spiders there. If I were being chased by an EF5 tornado and the only place to hide from it was an abandoned, spider-infested underground storm cellar, I would probably take my chances with the tornado. There are worse things than death, after all. Encountering spiders is certainly one of those things.
In any case, I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't been watching an earthworm squirming about on the pavement. Anyway, I took one look at it (the spider, not the worm) and immediately reversed course at a moderately-paced run. I saw a bloke jogging who was going in the direction of the spider, to whom I thought for a split-second I would shout, "Go back! Don't go that way!", but I considered that, with his dark sunglasses, he wouldn't even see the thing. He probably trod on it, but I didn't think to turn around and have another look.  The unfortunate part of the story was, I had been walking for about twenty-five minutes at that point and I had very nearly gone full-circle -- I could see my car at the top of the hill. My impulsive desire to run away caused me to completely retrace my steps, going another quarter-mile in the opposite direction. Fortunately, the nearest thing I found to another huge spider on the way back to my car was a Daddy Long-Legs (which are but mites, not arachnids). So, I got quite a bit of exercise this morning.

Let's see, what else...?
Ah, yes. I finally finished a decent (though a bit lengthy) voice-acting demo CD. It contains 22 tracks, which are all fairly short. The longest is, maybe, a minute and 15 seconds. Most of them are around five to seven seconds. Anyway, I sent one to two of our local TV stations -- hopefully, one of them will prove to be profitable.
Just in case you should wonder what I can do with this unusual voice of mine, here's a small sample of the 22-track demo...
Jasper
The Boss
German Accent
I consider the former two character voices to be the easiest ones with which to improvise. They're also the most difficult to maintain over long periods of time, mostly because they both require a sort of gruff vocal effect. To achieve this, one must project one's voice without being loud. Sort of like the way computer sound cards will only allow waveforms to peak so high before they distort.
The German accent turned out to be one of the longer tracks on the disc, mostly because my standard test phrase for all of my other accents didn't fit it ("A properly laid-out kitchen should permit a Sim to go from refrigerator to stove to dining room in a relatively straight line"). I found the German test phrase in the front of the Sims 2: Apartment Life instructional literature.
I guess my test phrases demonstrate just exactly how lazy I am. I had The Sims 2 player's guide and the Apartment Life instructions just lying about near or on my desk. Didn't have to go far to find them.

So, that's basically it for now. Come back tomorrow. I might have decided to write something else.

Posted by theniftyperson at 11:18 AM CDT

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Weird. I don't know what it is about the iPhone versus other mobile devices, but something certainly causes it to receive a great deal of press, scrutiny, and criticism.  A fabled 300-page uber-bureaucratic phone bill... a thousand-quid application that serves only to show others how wealthy one is... censorship issues with certain publications... micromanagerial bureaucracy every which way... it certainly gives just cause to make one stop and think. I certainly have and it made me think twice about the iPhone as something I would buy.

As I said in a previous entry, I'm in the market for a new mobile phone. I had it down to three candidates: a Droid, a BlackBerry, or an iPhone. Make that two candidates -- strike one iPhone.
Now, of course, only the bad, controversial stuff ever makes it into the national press, but the iPhone seems, to me, as though it does not quite measure up to my standards for a mobile device.
First, I'm very much against micromanagement and sustained control over a product by the company that made it. Once an item makes it into the hands of the consumer, it becomes the responsibility of the end-user, not the company. From what I understand, whenever someone criticises the iPhone for not working the way the person thinks it should, Apple issues an apology and a software update. I don't know about the iPhone 4, but previous models had no choice but to accept Apple's updates. It was either update or brick -- no middle ground.

Plus, AT&T have been known to engage in bureaucracy for bureaucracy's sake to protect their own interests. Draconian restrictions written into the fine print on all of their contracts may trick one into signing away one's liver, which their task-force come to extract if you can't make payments on time. The alleged 300-page iPhone usage bill suggests that AT&T haven't changed their ways. Evidently, someone who chooses the default billing options will receive a detailed manifest outlining every billable action performed on the iPhone during the month. If one talks, texts, surfs the web, and does whatever the hell else one can do with the thing a lot, one may end up with a bill the approximate length of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.

Then, there's the functionality issue. The iPhone 4 is notorious amongst cable TV news anchors and late-night comedians alike for its inability to make calls if you hold it a certain way. Also, unlike most mobile devices, including but not limited to the Microsoft Zune, Nintendo DSi, and BlackBerry Bold, the iPhone has moisture sensors on the unit's exterior. This configuration makes the unit more susceptible to bricking from exposure to any level of aerial water vapour. On most devices, you'll find similar sensors concealed under the battery, protected from all kinds of moisture short of total submersion in water. With the iPhone, one is encouraged to use it only in a dry environment, such as a room with a dehumidifier or the Mojave Desert at high sun, otherwise, the unit will take in any humidity it finds and lock up from unacceptable moisture levels, which, of course, voids the warranty.

Then, there's some question about the App Store, vis-a-vis censorship of content. Apple is like Nintendo, as it was in the pre-ESRB era -- censoring content which they find to be offensive in some way. With Nintendo, at least, there was a predictable hierarchy of reasons why something was censored. In the case of games with blood, gore, sexuality, or references to alcohol, tobacco, or drugs, Nintendo would request the developer to remove the content and replace it with something else. Basically, as long as gameplay was not heavily reliant on blood, gore, sex, or drugs, the developer could remove the content and Nintendo would release it as an "acceptable" game (e.g. a street-racing game where the cars would pass by a pub called "BEER" -- the developer could change it to "SHOP" or something for the NES release).  Apple's censorship of content is not as predictable. Whilst they claim only to censor material containing pornography, drugs, extreme violence, et cetera, their track record has not proven this to be true. For example: a while back, there was an App in the store having to do with the band, Nine Inch Nails. Version 1.0 was released, uncensored in any way. However, version 1.2, containing naught but a software patch to prevent crashing on overseas iPhones, was delayed by Apple, then rejected outright. Eventually, enough people made a scene, which caused Apple to cave, releasing v.1.2 to the App Store.

That's another reason why I'm scratching iPhone off the list. Verily, it's why I prefer alternatives to Apple products (this Gateway laptop I'm using to compose this entry, for example). Apple tend not to stand up and defend their decisions, being easily defeated by a relative few people. If they were a kid in school, the school counsellor would say that they cave to peer-pressure.
Sort of the antithesis of Electronic Arts (about whom I've complained many times on Of Carbon and Silicon), who are so steadfastly devoted to making money that they don't tend to waste precious man-hours on development of software patches, deciding to patch out the bugs in the next release.
I don't get the same greedy-capitalist vibe from Apple. They're keen on keeping their customers happy. A bit too keen, I'm afraid. They released the iPhone 4 too soon, not giving the units enough time in the manufacturing stage. "Get it made and sold quickly," was the mantra. This led to several units being sold with jaundiced screens, as the laminating glue used to hold the aluminosilicate cover onto the chassis hadn't had a chance to completely dry before assembly was completed.
At this point, I often bring Nintendo into the discussion. Nintendo know what they're doing and they know how they're going to do it. If they estimate monthly sales of a new console to be a half-million, then they'll only make a half-million consoles in the first month. If it turns out that there's an actual demand for 3/4 of a million consoles and the original 500 thousand sell out in a matter of weeks, too bad! Patience.
I suppose, not being based in Japan, Apple doesn't quite grasp the virtues of Zen-like patience. Make it now and make it quickly.

So, one phone down. Two more left.

Posted by theniftyperson at 12:46 PM CDT

Updated: Monday, 13 September 2010 4:30 PM CDT

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First, "Terra-Metrics" is changing. Not structurally or stylistically, but nominally. "Terra-Metrics" will, henceforth, be known as Cirrostratus.
To be quite honest, I was never incredibly pleased with the old title... it was meant to create a parallel between the song and the SimCity series. I was trying too hard to imitate Jerry Martin when I gave it that title. So, anyway, I'm listening to the song for the first time since November '09 (not just having it in the background, but actually listening to it). I decided that "Terra-Metrics" didn't fit the song. So, I opened a new text document and just started typing stuff that would make a better title. After the fifteenth, or so, alternate title (most of which had to do with mountains or water), I hit upon the idea that the song sounds like rain. Weather. Clouds. Cirrostratus.
Meteorologically speaking, cirrostratus is a type of high, dense clouds. Whilst not usually indicative of any significant precipitation event, they're my favourite kind of cloud form (next to Cumulonimbus, the harbingers of tornadoes) -- they block out the sun and seem to cool everything down by seven degrees. Just yesterday, I saw some interesting cirrostratus that looked like snowdrifts. But, I digress.

Next, I have completely finished a new song. Its title: The Paved Frontier. Basically, this is the tale of a composer who goes for a stroll down an unfamiliar forest path. The composer has never been on this path before, making every twist, turn, and fork in the road a new adventure. However, whilst it may seem new and unexplored to him, someone has obviously been here before, as the path is one of pavement.
It was derived from an untitled piano solo I wrote back in, maybe February or March '10. Last month, I decided to try out a variable-dynamic violin part on it just for summat to do. I decided I liked it, so I developed it some more. The violin became a violin section, I put some contrabasses in, and I almost changed the piano to a vibraphone... but, who wants to hear a vibraphone solo for four minutes?  Besides, when I get an orchestra to play it, the song would ultimately require three vibraphones to play a part written for a single piano.

C'est tout pour maintenant. Retournez-vous demain, s'il-vous plait.

Posted by theniftyperson at 3:03 AM CDT

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A number of weeks ago I chanced to enter a Culver's restaurant, whereupon, after I received my chicken tenders and plate of chips, I discovered there to be free Wi-Fi (information dispensed by a sign on the nearby wall, which I had not seen until that moment). Having my trusty, somewhat dusty Metallic Blue Nintendo DSi with me, I connected to the internet and, thus, to the DSi Shop.
I had read things on Nintendo's website about so-called, "DSiWare"... verily, the console itself came with six such applications installed already (Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again, Mario Clock, Mario Calculator, FlipNote Studio, and two that I've never actually used). In any event, so intrigued was I at the prospect of having instant access to new programmes that I spent 20 quid on 2000 Nintendo Points. From Culver's free Wi-Fi, I downloaded three DSiWare applications: Rhythm Core Alpha, MusicON: Retro Keyboard, and Scrabble Classic. That left me with 500 Points which were burning the proverbial hole in my pocket until today. At a local grocery store, I discovered there to be free Wi-Fi again. I connected my DSi to it and downloaded one final programme: myNotebook: Carbon ("Carbon" referring to the colour, not the footprint).

Now, on an unrelated note, I also recently found myself in the local shopping-centre's Verizon Wireless store. I had been studying a Droid X, I think it was -- comparing it to a BlackBerry: functionality versus overhead costs and subscription fees.  I need a new mobile phone and I've narrowed it down to three candidates: a Droid, a BlackBerry, or an iPhone. Controversy and hidden charges surround all three, but that's how stuff works in a capitalist society: who can swindle their subscribers out of as much money as possible.  I figure five million owners of these devices across the country can't be all wrong -- they must see something in them, otherwise they wouldn't be selling as well as they are.

And now, the link between the two topics.
It seems to me as though all of the applications... er, "apps" for Android, BlackBerry, and iPhone are all intended to perform the same general function as DSiWare -- to be downloaded from a remote location onto the user's mobile device for use at any time of the day or night, anywhere on the face of the planet (sort of).  I already have a Nintendo DSi... DSi Shop is my App Store. Someone needs to discover that Nintendo are making a gigantic error in judgement by not using DSiWare to compete with other mobile devices. DSiWare developers seem to be focussing mainly on games ("It's for Nintendo -- the Mario people!"), whilst they could be doing a great deal more. Post-It Notes that one can write on and "stick" to their DSi's main menu! Graphing calculators! Address books! Tax software! Tip calculators! Graph paper! Day-planners! Dictionaries! Thesauri! Translators! Why, Nintendo could corner the market on paper and calculator apps alone! Never mind what could be done outside DSiWare... entire suites of office stuff (stickynotes, calendars, address books, day-planners, and notepaper all in one DS card)! Architectural design suites! Then, someone like SanDisk could come along and make a sleek, compact, yet durable DS card holder that could fit in one's pocket.

Don't get me wrong -- Flips: The Bubonic Builders is fine in its own right, but Nintendo are stunting their own growth by not seeing the DSi's full potential as a mobile device. Specialising in games is no longer an option. In this era of the iPhone, people want to be able to do stuff with their devices. Maybe assign one team to work on games and another to work exclusively on mobile apps?

It'll work, mates!

Posted by theniftyperson at 1:18 AM CDT

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Ever since the turn of the century, I have been continuously perplexed at my generation's insistence on being "unique".  However, everything that we consider to be "unique" has been played out and standardised for decades.

Take gangsta-rap as an example.  Actually, no... take it to be an icon, a monolith, a veritable monument to standardism. The formula for a hip-hop, R&B, or gangsta-rap piece hasn't changed since the genres' introduction in the '80s: a simplistic acoustic or synthesised melodic loop consisting of one measure in 4/4 time, non-musical verse loosely superimposed over it, and a bass/drum line designed to destroy your lower-end car-stereo speakers.
Now, in the case of R&B, a variable-note improvised vocal part, typically a female voice, is added to the list as well. In the case of gangsta-rap, the verse tends to speed up, perhaps in an effort to sneak profanity and graphical descriptions of violence past the label's censors.

Now, for some reason, much of my generation have taken hip-hop to be the manifestation of rebellion.  Somehow, this standardised formula which has been copied by hundreds of so-called "rappers" since the '80s has become the thing people think of when they rail against "The Man".  A number of R&B songs have been written with current events in the subject matter. Anti-Bush, pro-choice versus pro-life, the election of President Obama, anti-war sentiment, Christianity versus Islam, that sort of thing. I even heard a gangsta-rap thing the other day about breaking into jail and decapitating Bernard Madoff, among other things (mostly about freeing fellow gang-bangers from prison).

Anyway, hip-hop et. al. has become something of a dumping ground for disestablishmentarian sentiment. Not only that, but it has regularly been mistaken for "music".  The Webster's New World Dictionary, Second Collegiate Edition defines music as:

The art or science of combining vocal or instrumental sounds or tones in varying melody, harmony, rhythm, and timbre so as to form structurally complete and emotionally expressive compositions.

That's the crux of the whole matter right there -- varying melody and harmony. Neither hip-hop, nor R&B, nor gangsta-rap have any of the above. There may be a simple melody, but nothing that varies. Compare Hans Zimmer to Eminem... it's like comparing a violin to an elastic band. Both will create constant harmonic tones if plucked with the finger, but only the violin has the staying-power to create a vast sequence of musical notes, where the elastic will eventually break.

Unfortunately, standards have fallen since Webster's Second Collegiate dictionary was published back in 1970. Internet Explorer's built-in Encarta Dictionary: English (North America) defines music so:

Sounds, usually produced by instruments or voices, that are arranged or played in order to create an effect

...Essentially, something you knock up in a few minutes that you can get gunned down in the street for releasing.

I have no qualms about saying this: hip-hop, R&B, and gangsta-rap were all responsible for the downfall of And Now for Something Completely Different. Adopting the felonious attitude and pigheadedness of millionaire rappers, the hosts of the hip-hop "music" programme on KZUM managed to slide around professionalism and co-opt the programming director into participating in their scheme. I am convinced that the rapper credo of "why ask for something when you can steal it?" was the inspiration behind the conspiracy which eventually ended my radio programme.

But, enough personal inferences. The point of this rambling, apart from "to waste space on the Tripod servers", is this.
Rebellion is only rebellious so long as it remains unique. If enough people begin rebelling in the same way, then the rebellion, itself, sets the new standard of normalcy. Even the anarchy so desperately fought for by the subjects of the rap will still retain a measure of order if achieved. ("What?") Consider, if you please, the ancient Greek and Roman eras. No real centralised government existed until Rome's downfall was near. In effect, anarchy. The "Empire" was, in fact, comprised of hundreds of individual city-states with their own laws and societal mores. What was legal in Town A may have been a capital offence in Town B.
The point: rebellion doesn't get you anywhere. Basically, instead of creating chaos from order, you create a new kind of order which future generations may seek to overthrow with their own "rebellion".

Posted by theniftyperson at 9:11 PM CDT

Updated: Tuesday, 7 September 2010 10:29 PM CDT

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After many long months of development, I finally have enough music written and improvised for a third album! Unless I can come up with a better title, it will be called "Dai Sakusen", after the title track.

I'm rather proud of myself, if one may be so bold -- on the last two albums, there were a lot of short songs and one really long song. In both cases, "Terra-Metrics". If it hadn't been for that song, Utopia wouldn't have happened -- at the time, "Terra" was just over nine minutes in length, bringing the total album duration to just over 20 minutes. In Autumn State, I re-recorded "Terra", which shortened it to about 8:45. Still rather long.  But, "Terra" can't get any better than it was in Autumn State, so I'm not including it in Dai Sakusen.  I decided that at a fairly early stage... meaning I couldn't use its sheer length as a crutch (as portion-control, if you like) to write less music.
Here's the track list as it stands now...

1. Dai Sakusen! (The Grand Adventure)
2. The Paved Frontier
3. SIMesthesia
4. If the Walls Could Talk
5. Night Drive
6. Rain on the Road
7. City Sunset
8. An Autumn State of Mind (Spiny McSpleen's Theme)
9. Freshmen 4 Ever

To offset the lack of "Terra" in this album, I decided to compose longer songs. The shortest one is the improvised, "If the Walls Could Talk", lasting only 1:53. The longest is "City Sunset" at 5:48. The average song time on the whole album is about 2:55. The total duration is 28:23.

Of course, there is a slight problem in the distribution process. All right, two problems. Problem one: I don't have a radio programme anymore. Even if the host of the programme before mine was an arrogant bastard, at least I had a means by which I could debut my own music. Problem two: I don't have a Facebook account anymore. I maintained a "J Sebastian Perry" fan page there where I would update my fans (all six of them) about new compositions and albums.

So, essentially, I have the finished product, but no way of making people aware of it.

Never mind.

Posted by theniftyperson at 9:00 PM CDT

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It's not a good habit to be in -- updating one's blog only every so often. There was a time when I was writing at least something in it every single day.  So, I thought I should clear away the cobwebs and write something for a change.

Right... where to begin?

Last month sometime, I came up with an idea for a children's chapter book series -- not for kindergarteners who only know a few words, but for the older kids who are more perceptive to so-called "vocabulary words". Quite honestly, I don't think I could manage to write a Dick, Jane & Spot-type book... I'd spend months just dumbing down my vocabulary. But, I digress...
The series is that of mystery, akin to The Boxcar Children or Encyclopedia Brown or something. The protagonist's name is "Eric Porter" (an Anglicised version of "Hercule Poirot"). He is in the fourth grade of an American elementary school (where he shall remain, in perpetuity -- too many perfectly good kids' book characters have been ruined because their respective authors decided to age them like real people), he has a sister in second grade, named "Leah" and he enjoys playing "Holmes & Watson" on the playground, where he is Holmes and his friend, Jason, is Watson.
Thus far, I have fourteen potential plot ideas, but only ten of them will be written into actual volumes. I've written two books already (they're not very long -- the longest is 18 pages in Microsoft Works) and the third one is forthcoming. Once I've finished it, I know a publishing firm here in town where I can have it distributed. That's likely to happen by Q1 2011, so look for the first three books in the Eric Porter: Private Detective series to show up in a bookshop near you.

Next, I've managed to find that Enterprise episode I was talking about in the previous entry. It was a series two episode called "Carbon Creek". That information turned out to be irrelevant, however, as I couldn't recall what I needed it for. Pathetic, really.

Proceeding, now. On Thursday last, I attended a broadcasters' job fair to see what kind of opportunities exist for a free-agent manly announcing voice. Two television stations, two radio co-operatives, and our local PBS/NPR affiliate were represented. One of the TV stations' representatives right put me off ("We're not a radio station," he said, "We don't need announcers." Well, my good sir, I imagine your advertising division would argue against that statement!), but the other told me just to send along a demo CD of all of my voices and accents and they'd listen to it (I know: "Kiss of death. You'll never hear from them again." It's something, anyway). The PBS/NPR affiliate told me the same thing, whilst adding that they will have need for a fill-in announcer at some point in the near future. So, tomorrow or the day after, I'll be recording a new demo.
An aside -- I know that people want to appear as professional as possible when looking for a job in such a fiercely competitive market as mass media. However, this job fair took place on the hottest day of a 1.5 week heat-wave. Air temperature of 100 Fahrenheit, dewpoints in the 70s, heat index of 110. I was hot enough in my simple (though tasteful) polo shirt and trousers -- there were two blokes and a (really cute) girl in attendance who wore suits! In retrospect, I probably should have contrived to get that girl's mobile number... oh well.

And finally, I seem to have become something of a celebrity amongst the staff of a small coffee-shop and bakery known as Thé Cup ("thé" being French for "tea"). See, there's a piano at this shop. If you were to know me, you'd know that my motto is "Give me a piano and I'll play it." Also, this Thé Cup has proximity to a local high school, meaning they're likely to attract my kind of audience. The highlight of my piano repertoire is a medley of ten or eleven songs from Mario and Zelda (plus, my inability to play the proper harmonies in the Super Mario Brothers theme has led me to create a distinctively New Age chord progression to play instead of Kondo-san's time-tested chords).
Anyway, I went there today... well, yesterday, I guess (I haven't slept yet)... and ordered my usual: Earl Grey tea and a scone. After I'd been sitting at the table with my order for, perhaps, three minutes, a girl from the staff approached. She introduced herself as "Dani" and said that she, personally, "loves [my] piano-playing".  Now, I've gotten myself into more trouble than I care to recall, speculating about relationships on this blog. But, suffice it to say, I believe I will contrive to return to Thé Cup tomorrow.

Posted by theniftyperson at 1:27 AM CDT

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Dash it all! I was going along, working on the Star Trek portion of The Mind's Rubbish Bin and, suddenly, I fall into a hole.

It seems that an episode of Enterprise that I thought I saw in the original run doesn't actually exist. Perchance you had the same illusion as I?
Archer, Tucker, and T'Pol are discussing stuff and T'Pol mentions that one of her ancestors was part of a group of Vulcans who crashed their ship on Earth in the 1950s. In the penultimate scene, T'Pol's ancestor is seen giving to someone at a desk a bit of Velcro.
Also, I seem to have mislaid an episode of Voyager... I think. It may also be from Enterprise.  Someone, who I have satisfied myself to be Tom Paris (though it may be Trip Tucker) had a run-in with a cloaking device and had their entire arm (or torso) disappear on them.

As Hercule Poirot would say, the little grey cells are not functioning properly. Rather than click and scroll forever on Memory Alpha, I could leave it to the mind as I sleep, then have fish for breakfast. Cough.
Or, perhaps you might be able to solve the problem.
If you know which episodes I'm talking about, reply to this post and tell me as much as you can about the title and the series (or, "season") in which it was seen.

In any case, I have managed to assemble a great deal of trivial crap about Star Trek, both the programme by that name and the franchise. The Mind's Rubbish Bin is being slowly emptied so it can be filled again.

Posted by theniftyperson at 11:43 PM CDT

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The Smithsonian Institution. Long regarded as the most educated place in America. When one hears of something being inducted into the Smithsonian, one can assume that it is M4D L337 important to American history. Buzz Aldrin's spacesuit, Mickey Mouse concept sketches, the Wright Brothers' aeroplane, et cetera. Yesterday, something arrived in the Smithsonian Institution, putting it on the Map of Niftiness.

Vince and Larry, the slapstick crash dummy advocates for safety belts, were inducted into the Smithsonian. Vince and Larry, themselves, were present to accept the honour.
Why would a pair of crash test dummies be accepted into this elite society?

Picture this... the 1980s. Automobile collisions are one of the greatest killers in the United States simply because drivers would ignore their safety belts.  After years of giving Americans grave warnings about the dangers of such behaviour, someone at the Ad Council finally got a new idea. Don't make it a grave affair ("You're going to die if you don't don't buckle up!") -- suggest to the television viewer that it would be in his best interest by presenting a 30-second educational show with two crash dummies (Vince and Larry), demonstrating how safety-belts can save one's life in a collision ("Don't be a dummy! Buckle your safety belt!")
Somehow, they managed to win over the American public with their slapstick antics and catchy raps and suddenly, as though by magic, auto-crash fatalities started becoming less frequent. People started using their safety belts -- in some cases, for the first time since the car was purchased.  The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration directly credits Vince and Larry with this new trend in American road safety.
So popular were these two crash dummies that they became as recognisable as sports-team mascots. People started asking for manufacturing rights to the characters, making lunchboxes, t-shirts, buttons, paper goods, and all sorts of things.
However, the thing for which I, personally, remember Vince and Larry is the unlicensed stuff.  In 1991, Tyco Toys produced a line of action figures called the Crash Dummies, inspired by the Vince and Larry PSAs, with the aforementioned dummies as a part of the line.  Eventually, Vince was replaced by Slick and Larry by Spin, and the line became known as The Incredible Crash Dummies.

Oddly, the NBC News article didn't mention that.  In any case, various props and costumes from the PSAs were placed into the collection for all to see.
If only this had occurred a few years ago -- Night at the Museum 2 could have benefited from Vince and Larry's presence. Taking the Model T out for a spin.

Posted by theniftyperson at 1:47 AM CDT

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As you all know, July the Fourth is American Independence Day. Typically, one celebrates by lighting fireworks and observing their effects from an unsafe distance.  Most, if not all, American cities have contracted a pyrotechnics company to create a fireworks display for its denizens to watch.  If you're one of the people who plan to be present for one such display, here's something to think about whilst you do so...

Independence Day is celebrated by watching Chinese or Italian fireworks from the comfort of a collapsible deck-chair made in Indonesia or a beach towel made in Sri Lanka. In some cases, one can also hear an orchestra of Japanese-made instruments play a song by a Russian composer about a European war. Some will even wave Mexican-made American flags.  Unless one happens to live where I do, in which case all of that has been shot down by a rain-bringing cold front from Canada.

At least, that's how this Englishman sees it.

Posted by theniftyperson at 5:05 PM CDT

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I've been on about James Bond quite a lot recently. Mainly, it's because of Activision's surprising announcement at E3 that they're redoing GoldenEye 007.  Anyway, this entry is not about that.

Most generally, I'm a composer of music. But, over the past two or three months, I've been trying my hand at videogame design.
First, let me dispel a common belief on this point.  Game design is not the same as game development.  When one designs a game, one creates the plot outline, the characters, the setting, all of the sort of thing that makes for a smashing film.  To give you an example, what I've done is to make a plot outline, a screenplay (kind of like a movie script), three control schemes (mapping intended game controls to the most naturally-feeling buttons on the controllers -- in this case, the Classic Controller, Classic Controller Pro, and Wii Zapper), a list of items and their functions (including their strengths and weaknesses), a short list of people I'd like to have playing the voices of the characters, a list of the levels and mission objectives in the game, some limited level design (I just wanted to see some things in 3D... I'll leave most of this step to the developers), and a list of miscellaneous things that I'd like to have the game be able to do.

So, this design I've come up with happens to fall within the James Bond series.  The idea came, more or less, out of frustration with the controls for the Wii version of 007 Quantum of Solace. The Wii-Zapper-only control scheme, whilst innovative as far as Bond games go, is too difficult to use for gamers who have become accustomed to controlling Bond with the traditional gamepad and thumbstick.  There are other aspects of Quantum which I remedied in my design also, but they are too great in number to list here.

Now, without giving too much of the plot away, it takes place, mostly, in the Kansai region of Japan. An entrepreneur from Osaka has come up with a plan to re-imperialise Japan, whilst simultaneously depressing the economies of every other world power (the global recession does not apply here), putting the world at the mercy of Japan.
I like to think that the potential gameplay here is far superior to that of Quantum or even the more popular ones, like NightFire.  Why? I think I've managed to recapture the essence of the best Bond game, GoldenEye 64.
I read an article written by Martin Hollis, GoldenEye's chief director, about how he approached the task of making the 17th Bond film into a videogame.  When it came time to create the levels and missions, he played Super Mario 64 all the way through several times to get inspired.  What he came away from that gaming marathon with was that players like to explore the game world. Especially after seeing levels like Bob-Omb Battlefield, where the player can move Mario about the place anywhere they desire, GoldenEye was definitely going to incorporate exploration. For example, the Severnaya levels, Surfaces I and II -- just like Mario 64, wide spaces for the player to explore, but also with what would be judged at first glance as being "amateurish" level design: making areas of the level that have nothing to do with the mission (the observatory and the westernmost huts in particular).
So, the point is, players like to explore. Whether a place has anything to do with anything or not, the player will go there. I remember that, when I played GoldenEye for the first time, I would make up my own mission objectives in my head. I approached Surface 1 like a playset, really, where Bond was my favourite toy -- I would pretend to be a guard and walk around on patrol. Other times, I would pretend that the hut with the camera on it was an office. All kinds of stuff.

I think the mistake that other developers have made with the Bond series is that they will typically play the previous game in the line and see how they can improve upon it. After GoldenEye, Eurocom developers played it to figure out what to change in The World is not Enough. Whoops, missed something -- meh, we'll make it better in Agent Under Fire. Okay, Agent Under Fire failed spectacularly... better play T.W.I.N.E. again.  Hey, that was interesting -- now, let's change the viewpoint to 3rd person.
Amidst all of that "improvement", they never stopped to think about what really made GoldenEye great. Sure all of those games had GoldenEye-like multiplayer modes, which was a good thing, sure. But look at it from Martin Hollis's viewpoint again -- he didn't have anything to compare his project to (perhaps Virtua Cop, though), so Rareware made GoldenEye based on inspiration from all of these other sources, like Mario 64.  No one's ever stopped to think about how much of the Bond game series owes its success to Super Mario 64 and Miyamoto-san's love of exploration.
That's the secret to making a really nifty Bond game.  In Quantum, you couldn't play however you wished. Sometimes, you'd be under such heavy fire that, half the time, you'd be scrambling for cover, whilst you'd spend the rest of that time trying your damndest to get through the level without being killed. Other times, you'd have a time limit -- usually a very strict one. Or, if you strayed behind to look at that sign some more, you'd fail a mission objective and have to restart.  More or less, the game would control the player.
In GoldenEye 007, you knew how many guards there were in a particular area and you knew which guards would come running in if they heard your shots.  You knew what guns there were, you could pick them up by simply running into them, and you could carry as many guns and items as you could find. When you aimed at something from a distance, you didn't see another sniper aiming right at you who could kill you in one shot -- you often saw an oblivious, patrolling guard with a pointlessly inaccurate gun with which he couldn't possibly hit you from that distance if he tried.  "Not very challenging," you might say. Which would you prefer to play? A game that you can play for hours because you want to? Or a game that you must play for hours because the game has made you so tense that you can't do anything else?

I don't have any really fast action in my design. It's not completely boring, though -- there's enough action to keep one playing for a while, but not to the point where the game reaches out and grabs you by the collar and holds you there until you've finished it.
For the most part, I've considered Mario more than James Bond in the design -- you can explore and fight simultaneously, or you can fight then explore, or you can explore then fight.  Plus, there's a rather lengthy list of stuff that you can unlock if you either meet a time requirement or you collect enough points, I haven't decided yet.

Hopefully, Activision will see things my way. None of the normal channels available to the consumer are working, though. I hope to find a workaround before they release GoldenEye this fall.  That's the best time to present a new idea, before they can have any ideas of their own.

Posted by theniftyperson at 10:43 PM CDT

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As you may well know, the fate of the classic N64 game, GoldenEye 007, is something of an unknown at this time.  I mean, it was M4D-L337 nifty, so much so that it came very close to outselling Super Mario 64 and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Nintendo's most successful 1st-party games for the Fifth Generation.
However, in the early part of the 21st century, Rareware, GoldenEye's developers, were somehow wrested away from Nintendo by Microsoft. They continued to make games for Nintendo as a Microsoft subsidiary until the release of their own console, the Xbox, in 2001. There were a few Rareware (now called Rare, Ltd.) games released for Nintendo's GameCube and Game Boy Advance, but there was still the matter of GoldenEye on everyone's minds.

Here's how it all went down...
Sometime in 1995, after the release of GoldenEye, the 17th James Bond film starring Pierce Brosnan, Nintendo approached Rareware, one of their 2nd-party developers, to make a game for their new Ultra 64 console that was in development (which was later renamed "Nintendo 64") based on the GoldenEye film. This film was released to mixed feelings by the critics, the consensus being that it had enough action to divert the viewer's attention from the thin plotline. So, Rareware worked and worked and the Nintendo 64 was released to wide acclaim and they worked some more until, in 1997, they released the finished product: GoldenEye 007.  Being the iPhone 4 of its day, the game sold so many units, there were no more to be had for the 1997 holiday season. There was such high demand for it that store personnel had but to place the games on the shelves and fifty people per copy showed up to buy them.  Eventually, everyone who wanted GoldenEye 007 got GoldenEye 007 and sales began to slow, then stopped altogether in 2001 when the N64 was phased out by GameCube.  Sometime during GoldenEye's selling-spree, Rareware was purchased by Microsoft, which complicated matters for all of the games Rare made for Nintendo.
Fast forward to 2007. Nintendo have phased out GameCube with Wii. One of Wii's principal selling points was that it could connect to the Internet and access a server maintained by Nintendo, where the player could spend a few quid and get re-releases of classic games, like Super Mario Bros, The Legend of Zelda, and Metroid -- even games from long-lost competitors, such as Sonic the Hedgehog -- which could be downloaded right to the console and accessed at any time.  Well, une grande surprise, people began to clamour for GoldenEye 007 again.

The James Bond series's situation had become very much more tricky since the year 1998. What happened then? Rareware handed over the Bond rights to Electronic Arts, Inc.  In total, seven James Bond games were released on various consoles under the EA Games label. One of those games was the critically-panned GoldenEye: Rogue Agent, which was accused of capitalising on the name GoldenEye, when the game had very little to do with James Bond, himself.
Then, in 2008, matters were complicated even further, with EA handing over the rights to Bond to Activision.  Thus far, they've released one Bond game, with another in the pipeline. 007 Quantum of Solace was released for the 2008 holiday season for each of the Seventh Generation consoles (Wii, DS, Xbox 360, and PlayStation 3), where it got mixed reviews depending on the console. Critics called the Wii version everything from "trash" to "rubbish", as the developers had optimised the game for the more powerful Xbox 360, making it run comparitively slowly on Wii. But, I digress.
The next Activision Bond game has brought new life into the old issue again.  Why? Because of the game's subject matter and title...

GoldenEye 007.
A Wii-exclusive revisioning of the critically-acclaimed N64 game, with Daniel Craig in place of Pierce Brosnan -- the storyline has been altered to fit Craig's shockingly revisionist James Bond into the post-Cold War plot of the original film.  It seemed to go over quite well at E3 recently, but there are many who do not believe Activision can pull it off, especially on the heels of the unsuccessful Wii port of Quantum.
Irrelevant, really -- the issue is the original GoldenEye 007. Now that a new game with the same title is being released for Wii, what should happen with the classic?

I believe I've found the answer.

Some months, closer to a couple of years ago, Microsoft announced that they had given GoldenEye 64 a makeover -- improved graphics and audio all around -- and were planning to release it to their Xbox Live Arcade service for purchase and download.  However, red flags went up at Nintendo, whose lawyers stopped the process dead in the water.  At this point, Microsoft now has a flashy-looking new GoldenEye 007 all finished, but collecting dust in a mainframe somewhere, because Nintendo is calling them out on copyright infringement.
What to do now? Excuse the cliché, it's as plain as the nose on your face!

The flashy-looking, made-over GoldenEye should be released to XBLA for the new players who hate old graphics.  Whilst at the same time, the ROM from the original GoldenEye 007 should be released to Wii Virtual Console for the veteran gamers who prefer this classic game over Call of Duty.  Then, half the money from the downloads of these two versions of the same game should be given to MGM to fund the production of the next James Bond film.  Then, Activision can release their totally new GoldenEye 007 and either make loads of money or learn a valuable lesson on messing about with classic games.
It's the most equitable solution on all sides of the issue. The N64/Xbox converts get their game, the gamernerds (like me) who like the game's classic look get our game, Nintendo and Microsoft get their money, MGM get support from the gamers, and Activision can release their game like nothing ever happened.

Posted by theniftyperson at 3:37 AM CDT

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For those who were unaware, this year's Electronic Entertainment Expo (more frequently referred to as "E3 2010") began this week.  In the relatively short time they've been active, E3 has already seen the introduction, ostensibly, of the Eighth Generation of gaming consoles.
"Eighth Generation? Why's that so important?" you ask. Well, consider the following...
In 1983, Nintendo Company released the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES -- also known as Famicom, Famicon, or FamiKon: all are variants on the same abbreviation, "Family Computer"). That was in the Third Generation.  Presently, with Nintendo's Wii and DS/DSi, Sony's PlayStation3, and Microsoft's Xbox 360, we are in the Seventh Generation.

Now, consider also that the Seventh Generation officially began with the release of the Nintendo DS in 2004, so, in tech terms, it's aging. Imagine having an iPod and not upgrading it for six years. Or, imagine still using Windows XP Service Pack 2.
In this regard, one can definitely see that technology has moved on since the release of the original Seventh Generation consoles.

Back on task.
As the Nintendo DS spearheaded the Seventh Generation, it's logical to assume that another iteration of the DS would blaze the trail for the Eighth Generation. It is doing so with a vengeance.
Taking leaps and bounds over its principal competitor, PSP, Nintendo's new DS, the 3DS is a play on words. It combines "DS" with "3D".  Now, you're thinking, "Wait a tick -- the Nintendo DS had 3D graphics, too!"
You'd never know it to look at the 3DS. In this case, the "3D" means the technical advance in display technology on television sets and mobile phones.  You know how you go to the cinema and you receive a pair of glasses to wear during the film, creating the illusion of physical depth in the 2-dimensionally projected image, as though by magic?  The 3DS is the first portable dedicated gaming device to integrate the same technology pioneered by the film industry into its display, only without the glasses.  Honourable Master Shigeru Miyamoto said it best...

"The additional dimension of depth in [the 3DS] makes it easier for players to judge distances while giving developers a new tool to create games and experiences that play with both height and depth."

As I said. You wouldn't know the original DS was a 3D gaming system by playing something on the 3DS.
Talking of something to play on the 3DS, a game console, regardless of its functions and abilities, has no reason for existence without a supply of nifty games to play upon it.  How about this...?

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Nifty enough for ye?
As Miyamoto-san also said, there is little purpose in simply recreating an old game for a new console. You could remake every best-selling game in gaming history, but at the end, you would still end up with nothing more than a lot of old games with improved graphics (cough-cough-Xbox Live Arcade-cough) -- there would be none of the reasons that people play games: challenge and exploration. If Nintendo were to simply port Ocarina of Time to 3DS and give it all of the appropriate graphical features, everyone who played it on N64 or has it on Wii Virtual Console would just play through as they would normally. We know where everything is: all the Golden Skulltulas, all the Gossip Stones -- we'd know how to defeat every boss, overcome every challenge, play every ocarina song, whistle along with Honourable Master Kondo's musical themes. No challenge at all.
So, they haven't done that with Ocarina of Time 3DS. They've put in distinct and noticeable similarities to the original game, but they've also built upon it -- added new challenges, replaced some of the bosses, made new areas to explore, composed some new music.

But, here's the purpose of this entry.
Whilst Nintendo DS is aging gracefully, what will Wii do?
E3 2010 has also seen the introduction of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, the next Zelda platformer for Wii. Typically, a console will only have two Zelda games released for it. N64's were Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, the latter of which was released in 2000, just a few short months prior to the release of GameCube.
GameCube's were The Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, the latter of which was released not only for Wii, also, but only a month and a half before the release of Wii itself!
Now, Wii will have its two Zeldas: Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword.
Come late fourth-quarter, Wii's days will be numbered.  Of course, there's no way to tell how long a console's reign will last, unless one works as a technical designer for the game hardware developer that released it.  In other words, Wii could last for another four years, or it could be replaced in the second quarter of 2011. We, the gamers, don't know.

Another interesting thing before I quit wasting your time.
Customarily, it is Mario or Luigi who introduce the next-generation consoles. Although they didn't introduce it, the NES had Super Mario Bros.  The Super NES had Super Mario World. The N64 had Super Mario 64. The GameCube had Luigi's Mansion.
However, Wii had Zelda: Twilight Princess.  A game starring Link as the central character, not Luigi or his brother.
Nintendo rang in the Seventh Generation with Super Mario 64 DS. They will ring in the Eighth Generation with The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on 3DS.

Interesting. Nifty stuff. Needless to say, gamers will want for nothing over the next several months.

Posted by theniftyperson at 2:23 AM CDT

Updated: Friday, 18 June 2010 4:22 AM CDT

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I was in Shopko the other day, where I beheld three Batman action figures on the clearance rack.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, an observant sector sensitive to pleasing colour-schemes activated as I looked at these figures. I don't even like Batman, yet I was captivated by these toys.
The area of my brain that was the most active was one which I hadn't had need for since the late '90s. It was the same perception centre which controlled my interest in the Incredible Crash Dummies. I would use it in the Toys section of whatever store I happened to be in.

The novelty? Colour.
Each Batman had a different thing it could do, thus meriting the need for a diverse colour scheme.

Why is this remarkable, anyway?  'Cos, nowadays, it's all about continuity in the toy-making industry.  Taking for example Buzz Lightyear. You have a range of Buzz action figures, each with a separate ability -- say, a space-wings Buzz, a talking Buzz, a laser Buzz, a karate-chopping Buzz. But, even with all of these fantastic features in the range of stock, you only ever see Buzz in the same colour scheme. A white base, green pads, and purple trim.
I referenced the '90s in the title because action figures released during the first half of that decade would have a different colour scheme depending on the function each iteration would perform.  Take for example, my old standby, Inspector Gadget.  You would have a range of Inspector Gadgets, each capable of a different thing. Gadget Hat, Gadget Legs, Gadget Arms, Gadget Neck, Gadget Copter, Gadget Watergun, and Fumble Gadget (akin to the Crash Dummies: press a button on his back and he falls apart).  Now, each of these Gadgets merited a different colour scheme. Only Gadget Hat was the same blue and grey colour as the cartoon character. Gadget Legs wore two tones of blue, Gadget Arms wore lavender and green, Neck wore violet and green (I think), Watergun wore a dull green and blue, and Fumble Gadget wore yellow and blue.  See? Each function had a different colour scheme to distinguish between the others in the line.

The Crash Dummies, too, were made in similar fashion. Granted, there was a great deal of functional overlap between the figures in the line (in 1991 alone, there were seven dummies who would fall apart on demand), but each dummy was given a different name. Each name, in turn, got a different colour.  Spin was my personal favourite. He wore a purplish-blue colour.  Of course, colours all across the spectrum were given to the dummies. White, grey, blue, red, yellow, green, purple, red and blue, red and grey.  Only Daryl and Spare Tyre performed different functions and had different shapes, but the line still managed to be one of the more colourful in toymaking history. I'm convinced their colours and novel functions for the time were what made them the most-remembered 1990s toy line.

The point? It's good to see that at least one toy company has seen the value in the need for colour variation.  Children are attracted to colour. Hence the appeal of a candy shop. If all of the sweets in a particular line are blue, regardless of flavour, some kids will like it, but most will not. The candy-makers know this. To that end, confectioners have created a sort of synesthesia, inasmuch as they colour their creations based on its flavour.
"Synesthesia?" you ask, puzzled.  Yes. The general definition is, a fusion of two or more senses. In this case, taste or smell and sight.  A child who likes bananas will probably like the colour yellow. However, if that child had an jalapeno-flavoured Jelly Belly bean, he will probably be wary of dark green.
Particularly as a child, one's favourite colour will govern what they want to have purchased for them.  Me, I was totally into grape Kool-Aid in 1991, so it's no wonder I was attracted to the similarly-coloured Crash Dummy, Spin.

Variety is the spice of life, after all. Toymakers ought not to forget that.

Posted by theniftyperson at 2:20 AM CDT

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According to various sources who have posted blog entries and news articles to the James Bond page on Facebook, it seems as though Mr. Bond has finally been defeated. After decades of eluding death by SPECTRE, Jaws, and other freelance ne'er-do-wells with messianic complexes, Agent 007 may finally have met his death by the very company that made him great: Metro Goldwyn Mayer.
Evidently, MGM has run afoul of the economy crash (made with pride in the USA, from the same brilliant minds what brought you trust-funds, Ponzi schemes, and trans-fats) -- to that end, they've postponed the next Bond film indefinitely.

Now, don't get me wrong -- it's unfortunate and all, that the world's greatest action hero for half a century has to suffer the decisions of a few greedy bastards in New York City -- but, I don't believe for a fraction of a second that the Bond series will simply fade away.  Established by Ian Fleming in 1953, the James Bond franchise has infiltrated the very fabric of society.  Go up to a random person on the street of any age group and say, "James Bond."  Some will regale you with their favourite line from a Bond film (usually, "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!" from Goldfinger), some will start whistling Monty Norman's James Bond Theme, some will tell you how many kills they're notorious for in GoldenEye 007 multiplayer.
It's like Star Trek. Go up to another random person and do the Vulcan salute. "Live long and prosper," they'll say.  The Star Trek series is so intertwined with society that new technological advances are based on equipment seen on a Star Trek show.  James Bond, of course, is not like that. The stuff that comes out of Q Branch is generally too specialised to have a productive use in real everyday life.
The point is, Star Trek hadn't had a television programme or a film for years until J.J. Abrams comes out with a new Star Trek film, expected to be followed in a year or so by a sequel.  Before that, the CBS situation comedy, The Big Bang Theory, is built somewhat around Trek references (e.g. "rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock").

In other words, I'm unconvinced that the James Bond series is as fragile as people make it out to be.  Remember, there was a six-year hiatus between License to Kill and GoldenEye. During that time, the old cliché was absolutely right, absence did, in fact, make the heart grow fonder.  There was a greater turnout in cinemas for GoldenEye than there was for either of the Dalton-era Bond films.  After all, MGM had been trying to sign Pierce Brosnan as James Bond since A View to a Kill, but his contractual obligations to Remington Steele prevented it.
But, fortunately, just in case anyone has any lingering doubts, the indefinite hiatus between Quantum of Solace and whatever Bond #23 might be has an extra card to play -- one that License to Kill didn't have.

Videogames.

Certainly, there were computer games based on James Bond, but none were as dramatically successful as Rareware's GoldenEye 007.  That game launched the Bond franchise into orbit of the gaming industry, alongside Mario and The Legend of Zelda.  Needless to say, it brought new popularity to the first-person shooter genre for game developers, trying to capitalise on GoldenEye's success (there probably wouldn't be a Halo series, were it not for GoldenEye 007).
Putting it another way, the Bond series will weather the economic crisis through the popularity of its multimedia ventures. People will watch the James Bond Ultimate Collection on DVD and play the Bond games until the next film is released.  Then, they will see the film, buy the film, play the games, watch the other films, until Bond #24 is released.

To answer the question posed in the title of this entry:
Has James Bond met his death by MGM?

No.

Posted by theniftyperson at 1:04 PM CDT

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Happy Mario Day!  Wowser... it's unreal to think that 364.5 days could pass so quickly!  I don't recall much about Mario Day '09, but I remember Mario Day '08 as though it were yesterday. I had purchased Super Smash Bros. Brawl the day before and couldn't wait all the way until Mario Day (all 13.7 hours) to play it, so I spent the majority of the evening in The Subspace Emissary, trying to unlock Luigi.  The next day, I decided to take the easy route and play Vs. mode a lot until I got him.

So, why is today "Mario Day"?  Well, to continue the tradition of explaining it every year, here is why it's Mario Day.  "March" is sometimes abbreviated, "Mar" -- this is the tenth day of March. On an old milk carton in my refrigerator, it reads "USE BY MAR10".  See? "MAR10" -- Mario in Leet (not in |\/|4[} 1337 ["mad leet"], just plain old Leet).

Even though there is no month called "Luvember" with one hundred sixty-one days (becoming "LU161"), there is a Luigi Day. It comes directly after Mario day, March the 11th.

Posted by theniftyperson at 12:01 AM CST

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