I speak, of course, to my generation. Generation "Y", The Millennium Generation, The Children of the '90s. That pretty much includes anyone who was old enough to play with TIGER's Inspector Gadget figures in 1993. I call us the Fourth Generation, because our first gaming console was probably the Super NES.
Anyway, I've just come to remind us of one inescapable fact...
...We're getting old. Whilst it seems as though it was just yesterday that we were children, many of us now have children ourselves. You know the old saying, "I'm not getting any younger", right?
"Wow," you say, "Depressing much?"
Or, "You're just finding that out now?"
Or, "Tell me something I don't know."
Or, "Quit putting words in my mouth and get on with it!"
I was on YouTube the other day and came across a VHS transfer of the one and only episode of The Incredible Crash Dummies, written by Bill Kopp and "Savage" Steve Holland. It's in three parts, since uploaded videos can't be more than 2 GB in filesize or 10 minutes in length.
So, in the comments section, someone suggested that the film be remade and the series upon which it was based be revived. I realised at that point that it's been eighteen years since the episode was aired! Eighteen! Someone born on the original airdate will graduate from high school this year!
The Incredible Crash Dummies action-figure line is 20 years old this year, too. Q4 1991 was the release date of the original Vince and Larry series. That's old enough in some people's books to be collectibles. On eBay right now, there are Spins, Slicks, and Spare Tires, all mint on their cards (how, I do not know) going for 45 quid each! The Crash Test Centre playset, mint in its box (again, how, I have no bleedin' idea) is going for five hundred quid! Wack with the lawnmower will sell for upwards of 80 quid! Dash with the... car he came with (whichever it was) has a starting bid of 150! Axel, separate from the Crash Car, is going for 50! Unfortunately for collectors like me, all the stupid people who were only asking for the price on the original tag have sold their collections to the smart people who don't care about the crash dummies so much as the money they can get for their sale. You know the type -- the guy who lives in his parents' basement and has stacks of toy collector pricing guides completely spanning floor to ceiling on one wall.
The Incredible Crash Dummies were a major reason why the 1990s AD was the best decade on Earth since the Cambrian Era. Of course, there were other factors as well...
Reasonably-priced toys from all of my favourite franchises (except Mario, which came later), digging for "dinosaur bones" at recess in kindergarten -- which led to a world-class hole in which to stand (which happened to me, at least), being endlessly entertained by Pac-Man and Super Mario World, and finally being able to control James Bond near the end of the decade. There's loads more, but it's only stuff that happened to me, not to everyone else.
Nonetheless, the '90s were nifty, they've been gone for 12 years, get over it, right?
Here's to the next best decade. Na zdorovie.
