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Of Carbon and Silicon
Friday, 5 August 2011
ANFSCD Episodes that Never Were

For those who don't recall (or, more likely, for those who didn't care) I had a radio programme by the title of And Now for Something Completely Different for two years, beginning in 2008, on an actually rather stupid little radio station in Lincoln called KZUM. For a number of reasons, Completely Different was forced to end last May.

Well, anyway, I was looking through the folders on my desktop to see if I could delete some of them and I came across the folder where I kept all of my Completely Different stuff. Actually, most of the things in there that refer to my show are abbreviated "ANFSCD", but I never used that anywhere else, owing to its being too long to remember properly. I couldn't very well call my official website's URL "" -- who would remember it? Of course, you can kind of pronounce it "AN-fe-skid", but I digress.
I found a text document with a list of theme shows I would rather have liked to do. In fact, I even began to assemble material for some of them. Here are a few of the better ones...

Halloween 2010: Had I stayed long enough to do a third Halloween show, it may have consisted of The Ring by Hans Zimmer, Poltergeist and Alien by Jerry Goldsmith, The Great Pumpkin Waltz by Vince Guaraldi (I probably would have opened with it), The Monster Mash (because, what's a Halloween radio show without that old cliche?), Jurassic Park by John Williams, and The Mummy Returns by Alan Silvestri.

Homestar Runner: There's actually rather a lot of music involved in the Homestar Runner productions. I had already assembled a playlist for it, comprised of all of the musical Quote(s) of the Week. I remember telling myself to only download things that were freely available and not to pirate anything from the cartoons, themselves (with my phones-to-mic audio cable). I don't know exactly what I would have played alongside Homestar Runner, because what I got didn't come out to be anywhere near two hours of material... besides, what good would it be to have a two-hour radio programme comprised of little 30-to-90-second sound clips? Still, I'm sure I'd have gotten at least one person ringing the studio who actually knows where the music came from. A few of the songs I have in the list are "Cheer Up, Coach Z" from Decemberween Short Shorts, "Everybody to the Limit", "Trogdor" from dragon, the "Warbly Camp Song" from Teen Girl Squad #11, "Not Talkin' 'Bout Butter" from Marzipan's Answering Machine 13, and "Save the Last E-Mail for Strong Bad" from alternate universe.

Sim Jazz: For a while there, I was right in between a blues show and a jazz show. To that end, I considered that Completely Different needed a jazz episode, just to acknowledge that very questionable artistic situation. The only game/television/film series I know of that has any substantial amount of jazz is the Sim series. For a long time, jazz played an important role in Maxis games. For SimCity 3000 and The Sims through The Sims Unleashed, most of the game soundtrack was jazz-related (Unleashed used a crazy, mixed-up variant known as zydeco)... it turned out, either intentionally or not, that much of The Sims soundtrack was jazz. Neighbourhood view, the "Latin" radio station, the Kenny G-esque "Smooth Jazz" (or, "sex-jazz", as I call it) from The Sims Bustin' Out on GCN, et. al. -- then, factor in the Jazz station from The Sims 2: Nightlife and SimCity 3000, all of this jazz amounted to at least one episode's-worth of music.

James Bond Games: If one may presume to brag, one of my more exceptional ideas was an episode based entirely on James Bond games. Only Blood Stone and GoldenEye Wii were amiss during my show's run, so I could still have made a jolly decent two hours of it. Unfortunately, this was before I discovered that YouTube is something of a dumping-ground for pirated music, so the only progress I'd made toward this idea was to record some of GoldenEye 64's soundtrack and one song from The World is not Enough with my own equipment. I actually gave up on this idea in late 2009 and just integrated the tracks I had already stolen into the second James Bond show.

Hm. It makes one think, doesn't it? "What could have been, if...?" Well, anyway -- I'm done for today. Return at some point, yes?

Posted by theniftyperson at 3:10 AM CDT

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